Pro Wrestling Hour With Grandma. Ross Bennett

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do you like my dad my dad was a retired Marine Corps Lieutenant Colonel a nice mellow guy I come from a military family my father he was in World War two my grandfather was in the Army during World War one I enlisted in the army out of high school 1973 I just missed going to Vietnam but I was in time for our country’s war on drugs all right technically I fought for the other side but full disclosure I’m what they call I’ve been clean and sober for 31 years please I’m very proud of that I stopped drinking in the early 80s when bisko’s were popular discos helped people of my generation stop drinking because they had carpeting on the floor and for sound insulation they put the same carpeting on the walls now think about it carpeting on the walls of a bar how could you tell when you were falling down drunk I’ll be right back I got a little help down here well half the kicking man I’m a veteran back on my father’s generation’s called the greatest generation generation that fought in one world war two and they were and when you think about it they were great at winning World War two they literally saved the world but it doesn’t mean they were great at everything else they did for the rest of their lives they were human beings they were flawed and let’s be honest the skills that they needed to crush fascism didn’t necessarily transfer to raising a little boy combat reflexes necessary in battle unnecessary at dinner it’s dinner drop potato pick it up don’t jump on it and tell the kids to run give you an idea of my father’s reflexes I once spilled a glass of milk at dinner my dad yelled at me before the milk hit the table you got to visualize the milk is literally arcing in the air like a drill instructor he’s out of his chair in my face what you think you’re doing there bonehead bone had you build your glass I’ve had it with you boy I got my eye on you boy drop down give me ten push up I said get out of that highchair baby I might have been the only guy to enlist in the army who already had PTSD I’ve got a son but I got a son and we always communicated much better than my father and I did when my son turns 17 he got his driver’s license and we signed what was called at the time a sad contract students against driving drunk and here was the deal if he was to take the car and he went anyplace and had anything to drink he made a promise of Oh to not get in the car but to call me on the phone and apparently according to contract we had signed I was going to be more than happy [Laughter] to get out of bed at 3:30 in the morning and go out and drag his little drunk and butt back home now what the heck I was going to Walmart anyway I’m just glad he trusted me that’s all a parent really wants a parent you just want your children to trust you enough does they ever have a real problem in their life they’ll come to you with their problems I don’t think I could have ever called my father drunk when I was at I don’t see that phone call to the colonel I I do not see it no dad I need you come pick me up because even though I was sober I couldn’t get the car out of the pool then you hang on the phone and wait for the arrival of mr. understanding eagle why give me a hug and how long would I wait with his reflexes I would get the phone halfway to the hook before I saw him fishtailing around a corner driving up in a classic American automobile the Ford Country Squire station wagon Ltd loonatics transportation device cream-colored tantrum artificial wood panelling because in the 1960s in America nothing showed good taste more than fake wood it was a great card if you remember this car had three seats had a front seat had a back seat and then there was a bath back seat a third seat in the rear that flipped up and faced out the back window now the front two seats were reserved for the regular family and the rear flip-up seat was for like mutant children pets with intestinal disorders and the visiting grandmother Nana’s always at the back passed out because they had the rear window down about an inch and a half she could breathe in exhaust fumes all morning and then it’s a seven-year-old boy flipping the bird out the back window that was me because I was in the backseat with my grandmother cuz I love my grandmother whenever I see young people today I always hope they have at least one grandparent in their life cuz grandparents love you like your parents and not they don’t have to live with you I could do nothing wrong on my grandmother’s eyes everything I did my Nana would she praise me oh look at that look at that I never thought of actually taping the bowl right on the cat oh you’re a clever boy you’re right that way the food is always there my Nana told me she told me the first joke I ever laughed at this joke is over a hundred and thirty years old if you have grandchildren in your life you take this joke to them if they’re between five and ten they’ll think you’re the greatest comedian in the world my Nana said be happy God put the crack in your rear end vertical because if it wasn’t when you went down a slide it would go [Music] it’s a hundred and thirty year old joke and it’s still quite effective my Nana my Nana used to come and visit us every summer for ten months now we didn’t have a guest room in our house growing up in a small town I didn’t know anybody had a guest room what we had was my room so my Nana would visit she get my bed and I sleep on the floor next to her in a sleeping bag and my favorite day was Sunday we’d get up before the rest of the family first she’d wake up see and then she’d wake me up technically she stepped on me we go downstairs and watch television I loved watching TV with UTP with my grandmother we can favorite show she loved professional wrestling true story she loved her wrestling with Bruno Sammartino and my favorite my favorite show was the old time gospel hour because my dream as a child was to be a minister I wanted to spend my life standing in front of hundreds of people preaching the truth and this is the closest I will ever get [Applause] but both of these shows were on at the same time so what would we do back in the day we couldn’t record one to watch later what we would do is we would share right you watch a little one show commercial would come on you flip the channel watch a little the other show enough flipping back and forth into my child’s mind the two shows would combine they become the professional gospel wrestling our friends I want to remind you the peace crusade will be coming to Atlanta this Sunday afternoon at the War Memorial Auditorium all right the Thunder ball will destroy the gospel choir featuring sister Jeanne Hanson and my brother The Terminator you people you’ve seen me before I’ve broken men’s legs I have made the cripple buck one thing you can count on someday the heavens will open up an eye the Thunderbolt well piledrive Nature Boy into the depths of Hades so be there on Sunday bring a friend and I’ll kill him thank you [Applause] hey did you know that Drybar comedy has their own app download it right now to watch save and share clips and watch my whole special

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